Apr

Indomitable Spirit

in.dom.i.ta.ble adj: having an unyielding spirit, stubbornly persistent when faced with difficulty or opposition.
– Oxford American Dictionary

Many female martial artists show indomitable spirit just by walking in the door of their school for the first time. It can be daunting to face the reactions of friends and family who start firing questions at us as soon as the word “martial arts” is mentioned. The biggest questions, of course, is the “Why?” question — as in, “Why, on Earth, would you want to do that!?” Many women face difficulties that men (usually) don’t have to even think about.

One of these difficulties is pregnancy. The choice to train or not while pregnant is a choice each woman has to make on her own and for each pregnancy. I couldn’t train while I carried Dynamo; I had a high-risk pregnancy and was on bed rest for part of it and restricted activity for the rest. I wasn’t even supposed to wash dishes! Like the work outside/stay at home quandary, I’ve seen women berated for both options. Either choice — to train or not to train — can bring require indomitable spirit.

Returning to the dojang after giving birth takes even more. Then there’s the added responsibility of the day-to-day chores and childcare. What do you do with a toddler while you’re training? White Tiger offers on-site, free childcare during lessons so both parents can train equally. Smaller schools may not have this luxury, but it would be helpful if they could offer some cooperative service, such as parents (male and female) in the class taking turns watching all the students’ kids. But even that can be difficult to arrange, if you’re the only one there with kids.

I touched on the difficulties women can face in my “Perseverance” post below. I think perseverance and indomitable spirit go hand and hand. For some women, it takes indomitable spirit to show up for each class. It can feel like you’re a lone voice in the wilderness calling out “Hello? Anyone out there?” It certainly felt that way to me in high school, when I first realized I wanted to do this thing called “martial arts”.

Then there’s the “lone voice” problem of being the only woman in the class. Far too many of us have had to face classes where we’re not wanted. Sometimes we have to face the assumption that all female martial artists are lesbians. This makes us (in their eyes) not “real” women, as if being attracted to men is the sole criteria to be female. Conversely, other women have run head-to-head with the belief they’re only there to meet men. In either case, it gives men who are uncomfortable with the idea of a fighting woman a way to dismiss us so we become much less of a threat.

These issues aren’t going to go away on their own; we need to openly challenge them. The last ten years have seen a huge increase in the number of women studying martial arts. This, in turn, has made the road easier for more women and many of these attitudes are — slowly — fading. Hopefully, our daughters and granddaughters won’t need to have indomitable spirit just to walk in the door.