Presidental Fitness Challenge: One week later and so far, so good. I finished last week with six days of exercise for a total of 1924 points. One week down, five more to go.
Rank Testing: In my Integrity post, I’d written that I planned to test for my next belt rank on 18 April. I didn’t actually end up testing that day. A week before the test, I realized my endurance wasn’t were I needed it to be and I wasn’t ready yet for the increased stamina demands the next higher rank would require.
At the beginning of February, I was in two car accidents, within three days of each other. Neither resulted in serious injuries (I walked away with some whiplash and I had the worst injuries, luckily). But healing from the whiplash meant I had to suspend training until the end of March. Physically, I probably could’ve continued careful training, but I didn’t want to give the insurance company any reason to deny my chiropractor bills by saying “Oh, well, you participate in a dangerous sport and that’s why you were injured.”
I didn’t realize how much endurance I could lose in only two months of lost training. But I’ve had another month to recover (and Dynamo’s had a month to make up back homework 
) and I feel ready to test again. Saturday (16 May), Dynamo and I will be testing for 7th Gup (yellow belt with green stripes).
When I first started studying martial arts, belt ranks meant very little to me. I was there to learn skills, which I’d get regardless of what color belt was around my waist. It didn’t matter to me then if I ever achieved black belt.
This time around, things are different. I’m actively pursuing my black belt and training hard to reach that goal. My goal is to get it by the time I reach 50 (given that I’ve got about seven more years to go, I think that’s a reasonable time frame to give myself). For me, it’s not about power, or rank itself that draws me to that goal. It’s about recovery.
Each new rank, each new step towards my goal gives a reminder of how far my healing from the abuse of my marriage is coming. Each new stripe, new belt is one more part of myself recovered, one more negative voice in my head silenced. It’s visual proof to myself that I can accomplish something and that I’m not weak and helpless, ineffectual and wallowing in victim-hood. It’s one more proof of the truth of what the people who are still closest to me say: that I’m strong, that I’m resilient and that no matter what knocks me down, I always get back up.
I’ve always identified with dragons, particularly the Asian ones. But when Jay and first started dating a year ago, he told me “You’re not a dragon; you’re a phoenix. No matter what fells you, you always rise again from it’s ashes.” He’s had time to see it — we’ve only been dating about a year, but we’ve been friends since I first moved to North Carolina, almost six years ago.
Earning a black belt is like earning my degree was 15 years ago: an accomplishment no one can ever take away from me.
Tags: abuse, belt ranks, black belt, president's challenge, recovery, testing
