On My Self-Defense Blog, author John Zimmer poses the question Ethical Dilemmas; In Defense of Others?, in which he discusses whether or not we have an obligation to aid someone else in need. Are we, simply by being in a position we can help, required to do so? I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
Our obligations as martial artists
This is a tricky subject for the average person. If we are obligated, how much are we obligated to give? If we see a hungry beggar on the street, are we obligated to give him money? How much money? Maybe we should just give him some food. What kind of food, how much food?
This becomes even more complicated when we consider out duties as martial artists. Many style, including Tae Kwon Do, expect their student to “give back” to their community. That is, I think, a deliberately vague term. It allows each person to define for themselves how and what. But how do we know when we’ve given enough?
What is real help?
And this brings us to a second point: who defines what appropriate help is? The giver or the receiver? Many of us believe that those begging for food are really only interested in money they can use to further an addiction — be that drugs, alcohol, gambling, whatever. In these type of cases, I think most of us (myself included) feel justified in not giving money. I’ve sometimes given food to beggars instead of money. Some were grateful, most were not. In all cases, however, I gave them what they seemed to be asking for.
On the other hand, there are situation like I once faced. While I was pregnant with Dynamo, I was on food stamps, WIC, welfare, etc. All people on those programs are expected to participate in government food handouts. Not a bad rule, on the surface. But many of those handouts consist of cheese and I’m rather severly allergic to milk. I had Food Stamps breathing down my neck because I was “refusing aid”. Now, I could take the cheese, give it to someone else who could eat it and everything would be hunky dorry, as far as Food Stamps were concerned. But I was also forbidden by the program requirements not to share that food with people other than my immediate family. Needless to say, I couldn’t get off welfare fast enough to suit me.
Healthy boundaries
There is also the dilemma of how much to give? As women, we tend to give more than we ought to. Men are (in my opinion) better, on the whole, at setting boundaries, particularly when it comes to money. They seem to know better than we do about how much they have and how much they’re able to give away without injuring themselves. I think women need to learn this skill.
How about you? Are we as martial artists obligated to “give back”? Please leave your answers in the comments.
This is definitely a tricky question. I’ve always used teaching for free as a way to balance out my giri to martial arts. That allows me to do other charitable acts as I see fit rather than feeling guilt to do them.